The Leopard Never Change It's Spots
The Leopard never change it's spots. All the leopards out there, you know whatI mean. Likewise the zebras,deers, tigers etc. We all know who we are, what 'patterns' we have. The sad thing is no matter how you 'upgrade' or 'modify' yourself, that pattern will still be there.
When I was younger, when I first fall in love, I used to do a silly thing. I used to fold a paper crane daily. In that ugly, little crane, I will write something about my relationship. It was like a love diary. This I did daily without fail cos someone told me with a 1000 hand-made paper cranes I can make a wish. Secretly I tell myself that will be 3 years plus and should we make it through that 3 years plus we will be together forever. We never make it through that 3 years, actually not even 2 years. And that was my first heart-broken relationship. I broke his heart and broke mine. Everybody's hearts were broken.
I was older and wiser and more 'experienced' when my second relationship came. I told myself not to repeat the same mistakes. But I did anyway. And I broke his heart and mine.
Thereafter I have a series of 'seeing someone' and ya all ended as I broke his hearts and mine. Then I realised my 'imprints', my 'patterns'... I am a habitual heart- breaker.
Now I am seeing my paper-crane guy again. After 11 years of breaking hearts, I am back to that first guy.
When I first started this blog he asked me why. I thought I wanted to tell people about my religion. I thought I have broken my habit of telling others about my love stories. I thought I have moved on to bigger things. But those were just my thoughts. I am actually a 30 years-old typing my paper cranes over the web. Why if you asked. Cos I am 30. I can't be like a 17 writing and folding paper cranes daily frantically, hoping silently that my paper crane guy will stumble upon them, read them and have pity on me. I now have a house to pay for, a job to be well done and a career to plan for. I can't waste my time doing some thing silly, can I? So I started my blog...
Told you the leopard never change it's spots.
P.S. My paper crane guy loves me. I know. I know it very well. But he is just always busy. When we were younger, he was busy with 'A'- level. Now he is a teacher and he is busy with school and students and when he got time, he needs to attend church and not to forget his workouts. But cos he loves me, he sms me daily and calls too.
When I was younger, when I first fall in love, I used to do a silly thing. I used to fold a paper crane daily. In that ugly, little crane, I will write something about my relationship. It was like a love diary. This I did daily without fail cos someone told me with a 1000 hand-made paper cranes I can make a wish. Secretly I tell myself that will be 3 years plus and should we make it through that 3 years plus we will be together forever. We never make it through that 3 years, actually not even 2 years. And that was my first heart-broken relationship. I broke his heart and broke mine. Everybody's hearts were broken.
I was older and wiser and more 'experienced' when my second relationship came. I told myself not to repeat the same mistakes. But I did anyway. And I broke his heart and mine.
Thereafter I have a series of 'seeing someone' and ya all ended as I broke his hearts and mine. Then I realised my 'imprints', my 'patterns'... I am a habitual heart- breaker.
Now I am seeing my paper-crane guy again. After 11 years of breaking hearts, I am back to that first guy.
When I first started this blog he asked me why. I thought I wanted to tell people about my religion. I thought I have broken my habit of telling others about my love stories. I thought I have moved on to bigger things. But those were just my thoughts. I am actually a 30 years-old typing my paper cranes over the web. Why if you asked. Cos I am 30. I can't be like a 17 writing and folding paper cranes daily frantically, hoping silently that my paper crane guy will stumble upon them, read them and have pity on me. I now have a house to pay for, a job to be well done and a career to plan for. I can't waste my time doing some thing silly, can I? So I started my blog...
Told you the leopard never change it's spots.
P.S. My paper crane guy loves me. I know. I know it very well. But he is just always busy. When we were younger, he was busy with 'A'- level. Now he is a teacher and he is busy with school and students and when he got time, he needs to attend church and not to forget his workouts. But cos he loves me, he sms me daily and calls too.
posted by Count your Blessings at 8:06 AM
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