Brittle Enchantments

Brittle enchantments... I think that is what we all see love as. We are always enchanted but sooner or later they will fall apart...

Love, the brittle enchantments in our life. The question is will you choose to have these little sparks in your life or totally forgo these mirage. What will you choose?

If You Could See Her

I think this is a lovely piece -- romantic and sweet. And I think it's true.

In the play, you will see the 'host' (I guess being the host of the Caberat, he must have seen it all. Hence his parnter must be beautiful.) with his parnter who is an orang utan... And he merely sings -- if you could see her th' my eyes...

I always tell my friends -- we never marry the 'best man' but the bridegroom whom I am sure will be the most suitable one for us, whom if seen th' your eyes no one will question.

If you have watched Brigdet Jones 's diary, you will always remember those words -- I love you, just the way you are...

But there are times whereby I wonder izzit really like this. And I have people telling me, you will never marry the one you love most. Then why marry? Is this another price you pay for loneliness?

I have just turned 30. Another year older so hopefully another year wiser. But at this junction, I ask will I get married? Will I marry for love, for loneliness, for 'advancement'? Should I wake my idea up and understand that love does exist but don't co-exist with marriage? Will the man who marry me, tell others 'If you could see her th' my eyes...' or will he asks me 'If you love me, please be the person I will love'? Will he loves me as who I am or will he wants me to be that person whom he will love?

Many years ago when love used to be magic and perhaps even sarced, I told myself if I don't get married at the age of 30, let me remain single. Now I asked myself will that stand? Frankly I don't know... But I know I will never be a mother...

The one thing you learnt about growing up is the truth hurts... Yes, I will not be a mother. Though I dreamt of my little ones every now and then...

The Bitch and the Angel

I watched the Cabaret (22 July'06, Sat 8 pm - 11pm) with my 2 beloved brothers at the esplanade today. And it's a wonderful feeling! Esp when Gage was there waiting for us ( I caused YiLong and myself to be late) risking to be refused entry to the play. (To be honest, I was quite fed up when he insisted to guide us th' the handphone -- I can't tell him my location nor do I understand his directions. And I am where I am even if I want to hurry or he wished us to hurry... But if you know Gage. If you know him well enough. He will scold you, he will lecture you. Might yell at you or say the most hurting thing. But he will be there to run you th' the whole thing. To dash up 4 floors in that 1 last min before the threatre doors closed shut... Ya he is the bitch. Who will go th' Hell with you ... That is why I am always the angel. I will never scold or shout. I have only good and beautiful words. Hence when you are going th' Hell, I wish you all the luck and yes I will watch you from above and pray for you... )

So who will you pick the bitch or the angel?

The price for Boredom

How much will you pay for boredom... for loneliness...

Very often I ask myself that? What price am I going to pay for boredom? For loneliness?

Andrew paid about S$45 per day for internet connection in Cairo. And I paid none... I slept, ate, swim, go gym and slept, ate, swim and go gym and read wnatever I can, watch whatever I can. And ya it was a 3+ days of bordem and ya it's really really crap. But I refused to pay for Boredom.

But I had paid for loneliness. Th' my nose if I can say.

Are you paying for your loneliness?

If you are asking what is loneliness. Then may I say it's nothing. Really nothing. Just a void, a vaccum, an emptiness that sucks you into nothing... That I think is loneliness. Do you think so?

Fresh Flowers

I had a wonderful birthday. God showed me that I am being cared for, that He is there. I am not alone...

And I received lots of flowers this year!

But as I stared at those fresh flowers. Flawless. Beautiful. Sweet smelling. I know they are not going to stay like that forever...

No matter how beautiful it was, it's going to wither. So the question to ask is 'Izzit enough to have that moment of beauty?'

Izzit enough for you?

The Ideal Temperature

My work deals alot with coffee and tea. And cos of that I find myself constantly making new pots of coffee and tea. For my friends, they are never in the correct temperature.

And today when I went down to EY to help, a pax asked for a cup of tea when his cup is 3/4 full. But he quickly explained himself -- tea is like love, you can never keep them hot forever...

Hence may I asked are you constantly making new pots? Changing new pots? Or just drinking cold tea?

The choice is yours. Some people like cold tea, others prefer hot ones...