Are You Tired of Being Yourself
Have you ever experience a day, one day whereby you are tired of being yourself?
Might be a bad day. Might be a lousy day. Or maybe a good day. Perhaps a wonderful day. Or just another day... Just one of those days whereby you have the time to be tired of being yourself.
And there are days whereby I asked myself 'Who am I?' Is this person I am tired of really myself?
Actually I pretty much grew up to hate myself. So it's little wonder that I will grow tired of myself. I hate the way I look. I hate the way I think. I hate the way I behave.
Now? I try not to. There will be times when I doll myself up and tell myself 'Just a few small repairs... Hee2' . The same goes for my thoughts and behaviour. But the repairs go just that far. So there will be days, like today whereby I will tell myself to forget it. And of course no point undergoing too big repairs, then I wouldn't be myself right? Actually I don't know about this point. Should I just keep changing and changing and changing just to be better?
Now I am confused am I tired of being myself or to be a better me?
I recalled reading about people with split personalities. They are people who hate themselves so much that they can abandon themselves for a short while and adopt another personality, perhaps one that they desire or aspire to be. They are people with extreme strong will power. Guess that kept me sane. Hee2.
It's in everyone of us to love ourselves. Despite the occasional loathing of oneself, I believe God has plans for everyone of us. With that, I believe He has created us differently for various reasons. Today I asked He. Why? Why am I like this? And I shall await the answer...
Might be a bad day. Might be a lousy day. Or maybe a good day. Perhaps a wonderful day. Or just another day... Just one of those days whereby you have the time to be tired of being yourself.
And there are days whereby I asked myself 'Who am I?' Is this person I am tired of really myself?
Actually I pretty much grew up to hate myself. So it's little wonder that I will grow tired of myself. I hate the way I look. I hate the way I think. I hate the way I behave.
Now? I try not to. There will be times when I doll myself up and tell myself 'Just a few small repairs... Hee2' . The same goes for my thoughts and behaviour. But the repairs go just that far. So there will be days, like today whereby I will tell myself to forget it. And of course no point undergoing too big repairs, then I wouldn't be myself right? Actually I don't know about this point. Should I just keep changing and changing and changing just to be better?
Now I am confused am I tired of being myself or to be a better me?
I recalled reading about people with split personalities. They are people who hate themselves so much that they can abandon themselves for a short while and adopt another personality, perhaps one that they desire or aspire to be. They are people with extreme strong will power. Guess that kept me sane. Hee2.
It's in everyone of us to love ourselves. Despite the occasional loathing of oneself, I believe God has plans for everyone of us. With that, I believe He has created us differently for various reasons. Today I asked He. Why? Why am I like this? And I shall await the answer...
posted by Count your Blessings at 1:14 AM
3 Comments:
hmm
jie.. where ur other blog go?
weird..
anyway..
of coz u shld carry on improving urself.
everyone does.
those that dont become very ill informed.. very old fashioned :p
u carry too much weight around ur shoulders.
time to rest!
:)
wow.. jie..
finally finish ur whole blog.
i'm truly impressed with wat u've wrote. ur thots, ur style, ur good standard of english :p
do write more.
i love to such more juices from inside ur brain!
ur bro
I can relate to much of what you've written. :)
But do remember that thoughts do
not entirely come from us.
In this world there's a spiritual
battle going on and most of the
time, it is the evil one that's
planting voices that sounds like
us in our minds.
Romans 12:2
Do not confrom any longer to the
pattern of this world, but be
transformed by the renewing of
your mind. Then you will be able
to test and approve what God's will
is - his good, pleasing and perfect
will.
Hope that will spur you on to
continue growing and changing.
Do not be afraid of losing your
old self.
But it'll always be a struggle and
challenge and that's why we will
always need Jesus in our life :)
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